Domestic Sorrows
by ShayaSar
Summary: Jack and Ianto know about Jack's pregnancy for a week now. But not everything is happy-smiley. Part of the Domestic Series. This is set on 28. September 2009


It had been a week now since they had learned that they would be parents of twins. Ianto still had issues to wrap his mind around the news, but he was happy. He would be a Tad and he would do everything to be a great Tad. He suspected the fact it was Jack who was carrying the children played a major part in his problems to take it for real. But he had seen the readings on Jack's wrist strap and the small holographic display was burnt into his mind: two tiny babies growing inside Jack's belly.

They hadn't told Gwen yet. There was so much they had talked about in the last few days, telling Gwen hadn't been on the top of the list. First they had to work out the new situation on their own and there were still a few issues and different opinions about things, but they were slowly getting to agreements. Ianto hoped Gwen would help him to settle a few points Jack was not ready to give up on. But first, they had to tell her.

Ianto closed the drawer of the filing cabinet he had just sorted through and glanced at his watch. Time for the afternoon coffee. They had agreed to tell Gwen over a cup of coffee and a piece of chocolate cake. The cake was already in the fridge upstairs, so Ianto made his way up to the main area to prepare the coffee. When he stepped through the door into the Hub, he found Gwen at her station, typing away on her keyboard. As soon as she saw him, she stopped though.

"Do you know where Jack went to?" She asked and looked at him curiously.

Ianto frowned. As far as he knew Jack didn't have any meetings this afternoon and the weather was way too bad to spend the time brooding on some rooftop. Especially now that Jack had to take care of the two tiny beings inside him.

"Didn't he say anything?"

"No, I thought you knew."

"When did he leave?"

"About an hour ago."

Now, Ianto started to get slightly worried. "Did you try to call him?"

"No, I saw no reason to. Is something wrong?" Gwen was now looking concerned. "Is he still suffering from that stomach bug?"

Ianto sighed and took a deep breath to calm himself. Gwen didn't know yet, she had no reason to question Jack leaving the Hub. "I'm sure everything is fine. I'll try to reach him on his comm. Do you want some coffee?"

"Yes, please," Gwen replied thankfully and settled back down behind her computer, going back to work.

Walking quickly over to his station, Ianto grabbed his comm and put it in his ear. Activating it, he didn't lose a second. "Jack, come in please." He waited, his heartbeat quickening with every second that brought silence over the comm. "Damn it Jack, answer me!" When there was still no answer Ianto pulled up the locator program on his screen. After the incident with Grey Ianto had suggested for the team to get subcutaneous transmitters and surprisingly Jack had agreed to it. Even for himself. Punching in the code for Jack's transmitter, Ianto released the breath he was holding. Jack was just outside the tourist office. Quickly changing the screen to the CCTV footage, Ianto saw his partner standing at the railing, the rain was pouring down on him and the wind tore at his greatcoat. If he had been standing there for the last hour he must be frozen stiff.

A grim expression settled on Ianto's face and the worry was replaced with anger. He grabbed his coat and headed for the cog door.

"I'll be back in a few. I found Jack, he needs some help dealing with something."

"Do you want me to come with you?" Gwen had looked up again, the expression on her face clearly showed that she wasn't buying a word of Ianto's lame explanation.

"No need for us both to get wet. We'll be fine." Stepping through the cog door, Ianto hated himself for lying to Gwen. This was exactly the kind of situation he dreaded and why he was pushing for Gwen to know. When the elevator brought him to the upper level, he used the time to calm down his temper. Whatever it was that had Jack standing out in the storm for an hour, it must be something that had his lover deeply troubled.

Stepping out of the tourist office, Ianto instantly wrapped his coat tightly around him. The wind was freezing for a September storm. Slowly he walked up to Jack, making sure he made enough noise not to startle the Captain. But there was no need.

"I always liked storms," Jack said in a low voice, the wind ripping the words from his mouth, making it almost impossible for Ianto to hear him.

"They are a force of nature, can't be controlled," Ianto replied, leaning on the railing next to his partner, looking at the waves that splashed against the quay wall.

"Exactly."

"Jack, what are you doing out here?"

"I needed room to think."

"And you couldn't do that in the warm, comfortable space of your office?"

"No, because I would keep looking at Gwen and it reminded me of the sprogs." Jack lowered his head and looked down into the chaos of turbulent water.

"Jack, she needs to know."

"I know."

"Then what is the problem?"

"I don't know if I can do this..."

"Telling Gwen? Well, I can do that, you don't have..."

"No. I mean this," Jack stepped away from the railing and pointed at his belly. "I'm not sure I can be a father."

Suddenly a fear, colder than the storm gripped Ianto's heart. "What do you mean?" He croaked out and swallowed hard. "Do you... don't you want the kids?"

"I... it's just... I don't..." Running fingers through his wet hair in a desperate motion, Jack looked out into the bay. "How can I bring kids into this world?"

Ianto felt tears prick in his eyes but quickly blinked them away. Up until now he hadn't realized just how much he was looking forward to the babies in Jack's belly, to his kids. "What are you saying?"

Jack turned back to Ianto and there were definitely tears streaming down his face now. "Are we doing the right thing with bringing these children into this world?"

"Yes!" Ianto's instant reply seemed to surprise Jack, but the young man was not about to give up. He stepped closer to his partner and cupped the cold face with his hands. "Yes, we're doing the right thing. This is why we fight. These children are the future." When Jack tried to lower his head to avoid Ianto's gaze the younger man held him in place. "Listen to me Jack. What is the point in us fighting if not for kids to have a safe place to grow up? Without children, there is no future. It's the exact same reason, why the scientists in your time invented the genetic make-over so men could have children. To guarantee the survival of the human race."

Jack was not responding.

"Jack, please. When you told me we would have children, you made a dream come true for me."

"But not for me..."

"What?" Ianto felt like someone had punched him in the gut he pulled his hands away from Jack's face and stumbled back a few steps.

"Torchwood is no place for children." Jack tried to sound sincere, but even to his own ears it was a lame excuse.

"No, maybe not. But I don't believe that's the point here. Neither is the "this is such a bad world" crap. What is really going on, Jack?" Ianto's emotions were in turmoil, he just didn't know what to think anymore. He wanted these kids like he never had wanted anything before, they were part of him and now Jack was threatening to take them away.

"Ianto..."

"No, Jack. I just can't believe you're giving up on these children. Our children!"

"Ianto, I..." Jack took a step forward and reached for his partner, but found Ianto backing away even further.

"Jack, tell me you won't do this to me, please." Ianto knew he was begging, but if begging would save his children, he would do it.

"What if I lose them?" Again, Jack's voice was so low Ianto could barely make out the words.

"Why would you say that? Are the kids okay? Are you okay?" Feeling like the storm had taken residence inside him, Ianto thought the up and down of emotions would make him sick. Stepping closer to Jack again, he pressed one hand to Jack's belly, needing to feel the strong muscles that protected his babies.

Jack watched his partner, felt the warm hand pressed to his stomach, saw the tears now streaming freely down Ianto's cheeks. He owed him the truth.

"We're fine, all three of us. Physically at least." Sighing, Jack took Ianto's hand. "These are not my first children, Ianto."

"What?" Trying to step away again, Ianto found himself pulled back by Jack. He regarded Jack's sad face and took a moment to digest the new information before he felt strong enough to ask the next question. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Jack looked at his lover for a moment, before he let go of his hand and turned back to the railing, his head bowed.

"Jack?" Ianto was positive he would need a very strong drink, as soon as they were back in the Hub. But for now, he put his hand on his partner's shoulder and pulled gently so he could look him in the eye. "What happened?"

"I don't know."

Ianto frowned, but said nothing; instead he lifted a hand and softly caressed Jack's cheek, silently encouraging him to speak on.

"I lost her."

"I'm so sorry." Ianto tried to pull Jack into a hug, but the other man stopped him.

"I don't know what happened to her." Jack bowed his head again, obviously struggling with the words. "I told you about the two years, I've lost. The last thing I remember about Katinka is celebrating her second birthday. I don't know what happened to her in the two years that have been wiped from my memory. I don't know if she died or if they took her from me. All I know is that I couldn't find her. I looked everywhere. I pulled every string I could think of, but no one would tell me anything. I have no idea what happened to my little girl."

Jack's voice broke and sobs started to shake his body. Doing the only thing he could think of, Ianto pulled his lover into his arms, feeling the desperation rolling off of his Captain in waves when the other man clung to him for support. At least now he could understand why Jack was so afraid. This was another piece of the puzzle, another horrible experience that made up a part of Jack's life.

"I am so sorry Jack. I don't know what else to say other than this won't happen to our kids. I can promise you that. We will not lose them."

"How can you be so sure," Jack croaked out from being buried in Ianto's shoulder.

"Because we will protect them and we will protect ourselves. And we are not alone; we have my family and our friends. These children will lead a happy life and they will be safe, I'll make sure of that with my life. As I'm sure you will too." Ianto managed to push Jack away a bit so he could put his hand on his lover's belly again. "Please tell me, you want to have them, please."

"There is nothing I would want more in this world!" Jack crooked a half smile before he was pulled into a crashing kiss.

*

It took them almost an hour before they felt ready to face Gwen again. Ianto had manoeuvred Jack inside and into the shower room so they could both warm up. They didn't talk much but expressed through touches and kisses how much they cared for and supported each other. Talking had to wait for later that evening. Ianto made Jack promise to share this piece of his past with him as he wanted to learn about Katinka. He needed Jack to know that he was okay with Jack's past however good or bad it had been.

Now dressed into dry clothes, the team sat in the conference room and attacked the chocolate cake and the hot coffee.

Jack and Ianto were still a bit out of it, but the talk had done them good.

Gwen of course sensed that there was something going on and she kept glancing between Jack and Ianto, waiting for the other shoe to drop. The two men had shared meaningful glances, obviously silently discussing who would be the one breaking the news. Only Gwen wasn't sure she wanted to know.

Well, she wouldn't start it for sure. If anything, she had learned to wait for them to spill out the news, poking had never brought her anywhere. She was just shovelling another spoonful of chocolate cake into her mouth when Jack seemed to think it was time.

"I'm pregnant."

The cake went flying in crumbs over the table while Gwen seemed to die of a coughing fit. Ianto was at her side in an instant, glaring at Jack while gently patting Gwen's back. When she had finally cleared her lungs of chocolate flavoured crumbs again, she managed to shout out what she had wanted to say for the last couple of minutes now.

"What?!"


End file.
